22: Safety Series: Kids Online
In this episode, we’re diving into a topic that’s on so many parents’ minds — kids, technology, and how we keep them safe both online and offline. This is a HUGE topic and one that we will cover again in the future, but for now, it will be two episodes, starting today with keeping kids safe online. Next time, we will go into helping to keep our kids safe offline.
We talk about the upsides and downsides of tech for kids, what’s really going on with safety in the world today, and how much we should be sharing with our kids about the scary stuff without overwhelming them. Our goal is for you to walk away from these two episodes feeling empowered, not anxious.
Let’s start with the obvious — our kids are growing up in a world far different from the one we grew up in. They never knew life without the internet, smartphones, streaming services (what even are commercials?!), basically the world at their fingertips. Pew Research just reported that 95% of U.S. teens have access to a smartphone and 97% use the internet daily. That’s basically everyone.
And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. Tech can support learning - things like languages, reading, educational games, video tutorials, it can foster creativity, and social connection - we were never able to FaceTime our grandparents, and it is such a special way for our kids to stay connected to theirs. Now, when we are on speaker, my son goes, “let me see!” - uhh there’s nothing to see, but then we usually end up FaceTiming anyway.
The American Academy of Pediatrics tech can support learning, creativity, and social connection when it’s used intentionally. Think about language-learning apps, video calls with grandparents, or kids who build websites and code games.
Exactly. But the flip side is that higher daily screen time correlates with more sleep issues, less physical activity, and higher anxiety and depression scores in adolescents. It’s not just about the content; it’s about the quantity.
So what can we do as parents? One thing I love is creating a “family media plan.” We can create a free template to use, where you sit down with your kids and set expectations about screen time, bedtime use, and what’s okay to post. I think it’s important to talk to them about what kinds of images are ok and not ok to look at online. Having access to everything means having access to inappropriate content, and if they can recognize what’s not ok, that’s a good first step.
And modeling matters. If our kids see us scrolling at dinner or falling asleep to Netflix, they’ll think that’s normal. Simple device-free zones, like meals or bedrooms, can be powerful. We’ve talked about this before, screens are so addicting, and try as we might to be off ours, they are always around. I’ve been thinking about how different it was when we were kids, and the TV was only in the living room, we watched it as a family, and then we turned it OFF. Or we watched it right after school, and then when the show was over, that was it. Today, screens are designed to keep people on them, with videos that automatically go to the next one, allowing you to interact, engage, and feed the algorithm so you stay on it. It keeps kids chasing a dopamine hit that we didn’t have as children. It’s also portable! Screens go EVERYWHERE now. In the car, in the dr. office, at restaurants, on planes, at the grocery store, you get the picture. And with developing brains, kids don’t have the ability to self-regulate or pause the game, show, YouTube, whatever it is. Even “we’ll watch 2 episodes of Bluey” often turns into over an hour on the screen. It goes quickly, and you don’t even realize when it’s happening. This leads to meltdowns, breakdowns, overstimulation, and overall poor behavior. I mean, I have trouble with it, and I am an adult! We definitely need to be intentional with screens when it comes to our kids and ourselves!
The FBI reports that CyberTipline receives over 32,000 suspected child exploitation reports per week.
And a 2023 Bark safety report found that 60% of teens had been contacted by a stranger online. So even if you think, “my kid only uses kid-friendly apps,” there’s still risk.
Practical tips help, starting with your settings. Privacy settings should be age-appropriate and reviewed regularly. It’s not a one-time conversation. Make it ongoing. Talk about digital footprints, online predators, and what to do if something feels “off.” Kids need to know they can come to you without fear of punishment. And remind them that nothing online ever really goes away. So that mean comment lives on. Just because you’re behind a screen doesn’t make it ok to treat people poorly.
I also recommend kid-friendly browsers or parental control tools. Common Sense Media is great for reviews, and tools like Qustodio or Bark can flag potential dangers. There’s also a great account on Facebook and YouTube featuring Officer Gomez, he is a police officer with a teenage daughter who shares some incredible safety precautions that we can take as parents.
Trust with our kids is such a huge factor in this.
It’s incredibly important to keep the dialogue open. Make it easy for your child to come to you. This kind of communication has to start young, creating a space for your kids to feel they can tell you anything can help shape the conversations around tech safety.
Carly said: Anytime my kids ask, “can I tell you something?” my response is always, “you can tell me anything.” I noticed recently that my daughter has been sort of nervous to tell me some things that she thinks I will get mad about, which is strange because she has also told me that I never get mad, but still. I know it’s a developmental thing, and she is learning that I am still a safe person to confide in. And I tell her, “it’s ok, you can tell me anything, I won’t get mad. If it is something bad, we will talk through it together.” I definitely never want her to feel like she is in trouble when she tells me something because I want her to keep telling me all the things! Some things just need more conversation around them.
Netflix documentaries to watch: Unknown Number: The high school catfish. And The Social Dilemma.
According to the Social Dilemma - kids are getting access younger. Having beauty standards that are too high - even worse than when we were kids, because of filters and editing/AI. They’re getting cyberbullied. The creators of these apps and phones are developing these apps in a way that keeps people addicted. Even knowing how addictive it is, we still get wrapped up in it. Even if we say we are going to put it away or lock it up or leave it in another room, it just creeps back in.
US self-harm rates are up 62% 15-19-year-olds, 189% in 10-14-year-old girls.
US Suicide rates are up 70% 15-19 year-olds and 151% 10-14 year-old-girls.
Advertisements are no longer being set to certain ages or even to school sites. Kids have access to and are shown unwillingly these ads that encourage them to cause self-harm or produce negative thoughts. There’s no protection for the kids like there was before with TV.
Before you share, fact-check!
Turn off notifications.
Notice that people in the tech industry don’t give devices to their kids. No social media.
Some good Rules:
All devices out of the bedroom at night.
No social media until high school.
Work out a time budget with your kids. Ask them what a reasonable amount of time spent on their device is.
It feels like it takes more than a mindset to step away from something so addictive.
Show Notes Resource Links
AAP Family Media Plan: healthychildren.org/MediaUsePlan
Common Sense Media: commonsensemedia.org
FBI Cyber Safety Tips: fbi.gov/scams-and-safety
National Center for Missing & Exploited Children: missingkids.org
Perfectly Good Advice:
I teach CTE (Career Technical Education) Graphic Design at a local high school. Before becoming an educator nine years ago, I spent over 25 years in arts, media, entertainment, and creative services—producing events, leading creative teams, and exploring the intersection of art, design, and innovation. I was honored to be named the Heroes of Vista Technology Educator of the Year, and I’m also the mom of a high school senior, navigating the realities of responsible tech and phone use at home. I believe creativity and technology are powerful tools for self-expression and problem-solving, and I want to equip the next generation with the confidence and skills to use them to shape a better future.
At least 3 Pieces of advice:
1. Stay in the driver’s seat.
Technology and AI are powerful tools, but you’re the one steering. They can spark ideas, provide shortcuts, and offer inspiration—but only if you use them with intention. Let tech support your goals and enhance your thinking, not replace it.
2. Think critically, build habits of mind.
Not everything online or AI-generated is accurate or unbiased. Question what you see, practice persistence and adaptability, and stay open to continuous learning. These “soft skills” will outlast any single piece of technology.
3. Protect and practice your creativity.
Your imagination, empathy, and original ideas are irreplaceable. Creativity is a lifelong skill that builds resilience and adaptability—use technology to amplify it, not take its place. The world needs your perspective and your voice.
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